8 Things Canadian Therapists Wish You Knew — But Aren’t Allowed to Say in Session
We asked therapists across the country what they’d say to their clients if there were no professional rules. The answers were surprisingly tender.
Part of: Relationships & Dilemmas
Therapists are trained not to give advice. We asked a dozen of them — anonymously, after hours — what they would say if they could. The list is shorter and softer than you’d expect.
“Most of my clients are not actually broken,” one Toronto therapist wrote. “They’re exhausted from pretending they’re fine. The pretending is the symptom. The exhaustion is the diagnosis.”
“I would tell almost every adult I see that their parents did the best they could and it still wasn’t enough,” another said. “Both can be true. Holding both is the work.”
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A Vancouver therapist said the thing she most wanted to say but couldn’t: “Your partner is not going to change. You already know. You are paying me to take long enough to admit it.”
Several mentioned the same quiet observation: clients consistently underestimate how much their nervous system is shaped by who they sleep next to. “If you wake up tense for a year, look at the person on the other pillow before you look at your job.”
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And one line that came up almost word-for-word from three different therapists: “The version of you that thinks it’s the problem is almost never the problem. It’s usually the only part of you still paying attention.”
None of them would say any of this in session. All of them wanted you to know it anyway.
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Original editorial. Written by The Daily Stash Editors. See our editorial policy.