Her American Roommate Started a Spreadsheet of Every Weird Thing She Did. Then It Went Viral.

Émilie, 24, moved from Trois-Rivières to Austin for a software co-op in January. Her roommate Hannah, also 24, grew up in suburban Texas and had never knowingly met a Canadian. They matched on a housing app. They liked the same shows. It was supposed to be easy.

Row one of the spreadsheet, dated January 8: ‘Apologized to a kitchen chair after walking into it. Made eye contact with the chair.’ Hannah told us she added it as a joke. She did not expect a row two.

Row two arrived the next morning. Émilie said ‘sorry’ when Hannah sneezed. Then again when the Keurig made a noise. Then again, unprompted, while watching the news. ‘I started counting,’ Hannah said. ‘She averaged 14 sorries before noon.’

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By week three the sheet had a tab for ‘Food Crimes’ — bagged milk, ketchup chips smuggled in via her mom, a jar of Cheez Whiz that Émilie referred to, with total sincerity, as ‘a sandwich essential’. Hannah's group chat of college friends back home demanded weekly updates. They started placing bets on what would land in the sheet next.

Then Émilie found the spreadsheet. Hannah had left her laptop open. Émilie didn't say anything that night. The next morning, a new tab had appeared on the sheet, titled ‘Things Hannah Does’.

Row one: ‘Calls every carbonated drink Coke. Including Sprite. Including water with bubbles.’ Row two: ‘Says y'all to a single individual person.’ Row three: ‘Owns a gun safe but no winter coat.’ The Texans in the group chat went very quiet.

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What followed was three weeks of polite, escalating documentation. Émilie added the word ‘fixin’ to its own dedicated cell. Hannah countered with a screenshot of Émilie googling ‘is it normal to apologize to a Roomba’. Neither of them spoke about the sheet out loud. They just kept editing it.

Then in mid-March, Hannah's mom flew in for a weekend. She walked in, saw the bag of milk in the fridge door, and said, with genuine concern, ‘Honey, did the jug break?’ Émilie filmed Hannah's mom's reaction without permission. It hit 3.1 million views on TikTok in four days.

The comments split exactly along the border. Canadians defended the milk bag like a constitutional right. Americans demanded a Senate inquiry. Émilie's mom in Trois-Rivières found out about the video from a cousin in Florida. Hannah's mom found out from her hairdresser.

When we asked Hannah and Émilie what changed after the video, they both said the same thing: the spreadsheet stopped being funny and started being kind of beautiful. They added a third tab. They called it ‘Things We Both Do Now’. It includes saying sorry to chairs and saying y'all to soup.

They're renewing the lease in July.