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    “Do I Tell the Neighbour Their Teenage Daughter Sneaks Out Every Night?” — 1,200 Canadians Weighed In

    A quiet front-window observation became one of the most argued-about ethical dilemmas we’ve ever published.

    Part of: Relationships & Dilemmas

    By The Daily Stash Editors · Editorial teamLast verified May 8, 20267 min read
    “Do I Tell the Neighbour Their Teenage Daughter Sneaks Out Every Night?” — 1,200 Canadians Weighed In — Reddit Roundup feature on The Daily Stash

    A reader in Burlington wrote in: every night around 12:40am, the teenage girl across the street climbs out a side window, walks two blocks, and gets into the same blue Civic. Do you tell her parents? We asked 1,200 of you. The split was almost exactly down the middle.

    The “tell the parents” camp was firm and fast. Most cited safety. A 16-year-old getting into a car at 12:40am with someone the parents don’t know about is not a story with a wide range of good endings.

    The “mind your own business” camp was equally fast and almost as large. Several pointed out that strict households often produce exactly this behaviour, and that ratting her out could make her situation worse, not better.

    The most useful replies came from former teenage sneak-outs themselves. Their advice was almost unanimous: don’t go to the parents first. Go to the teenager. A short, kind, non-judgmental note left somewhere only she would find it. “I see you. I’m not going to tell. Please be careful, and here’s a number you can call if you ever need a ride home, no questions asked.”

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    A handful of parents wrote in to say they would absolutely want to know. A roughly equal handful wrote in to say they would have hated the neighbour who told them, and so would their now-adult daughter.

    The honest answer is that this is one of the small ethical questions modern life offers no clean rule for. Our reader hasn’t decided yet. She did, however, write down the licence plate.

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    Sources

    1. Statistics Canada
    2. CBC News
    3. The Canadian Encyclopedia

    Original editorial. Written by The Daily Stash Editors. See our editorial policy.